Charles Eats Too Much Wet Food

It's come to my attention that Charles eats too much wet food. I used to have a cat named French that I loved very much, and I only gave him dry food. Never wet. He wasn't the Queen of Sheba, you know? He was a cat and cats are animals and the animal life is keeping it simple. For some reason, things are different with Charles. I always give him wet, canned cat food, and I feel guilty if I only provide him with dry food. If he goes even a day with dry food only, I feel like a bad caretaker.

Well, the answer came to me yesterday. The reason I always give Charles canned food is that I'm an absent father, and I'm trying to purchase his affection. I've always said that Charles and I are roommates, but real roommates don't depend on each other to eat. They have independent lives, and even though he seems very independent of me, Charles is not actually independent of me. He needs more from me, he needs my emotional presence. I think this is why he keeps biting my face.